Slow Down Sweet Girl

“Slow Down, Sweet Girl”

There is a time in the silence, when I sit here and wonder:
Did I do enough today?
Was I kind enough?
Should I have laid with my son instead of turning that moment into a lesson?

I’m proud of myself for not caving, but the pain is unwavering.
All I do is for them.
All I am is because of them.

There have been so many moments I could have just rolled over and given up—stayed in the wheelchair while the world around me danced and took care of me. Just sat there and let life happen to me.

That would have been easier.
The old me—the young, sad J—might have loved that. To be taken care of, to not have to worry about getting better, to hide behind the pain and the stroke. No one would have blamed me.

Sometimes I still want to crawl back to that place and whisper to myself,
Slow down, my dear girl. Slow down.

But I couldn’t stay there.
I needed to get better for them.
I was terrified of being stuck there forever—stuck in a chair, unable to go to the restroom on my own.

I hate needing so much help these days, but just like my son, I still long for those moments when someone will take care of me and lie beside me. When someone will tell me:

You did a great job today.
You are enough.
You have done more than enough.

Relax, sweet girl, and close your eyes.
I love you.

— J

“More than tea, more than coffee — it’s a movement to communicate, celebrate, heal, and grow together.”